Dear Guat-4,
My children, I need you to know the deep love I have for you within me. When we parted ways, exhaustion had robbed me of the words to express it, but you deserve to know.
You came into my life like a whirlwind of chatter, emotions, laughter, and dramatic stories. I was stern with you. I have a tell-it-like-it-is blunt attitude, rather than a make-you-like-me-then-I’ll-lay-down-the-law approach. I care so much more about you and your relationship with Christ than whether or not you like me. Tough love? I guess some would say. I think of it as speaking the truth in love [Eph. 4:15].
The whirlwind of you shook me up, forced me to stay on my toes, and showed me that I’m stronger than I give myself credit for. The whirlwind of you somehow exhausted me and gave me new life at the same time. My heart is full of affection for you and overwhelmed with joy at the thought of you.
As contradictory as this is going to sound, I want to encourage you to keep asking questions. Haha! This month I heard so many questions like…
“What’s for dinner?”
“When are we getting our phones?”
“What are we doing today?”
These are not the wrong questions, they lead to gaining information which is useful and helpful. But they aren’t the best questions. I believe the best questions for you to ask are questions like…
“God, what are you doing here and now?”
“What is your desire for my day today?”
“How can I be a better reflection of you?”
“Who am I in you?”
Keep pushing. Keep pursuing answers. Keep pursuing God. Doubt is not the antonym of faith. He is not shaken by your doubts. He can handle your hard and scary questions.
Keep digging. Remember, there’s always more healing, and always more freedom to be had. Our God is limitless.
I want you to know that each one of you is beautiful, strong, and capable of all things in Christ. I will remember you as worshipers, prophets, healers, teachers, and lovers. Bust most of all I will remember you as sons and daughters of God who are radically loved by him. Because at your core, that is who you are.
Always all my love, peace an’ blessins,
LeAnn (mom)
